Music is completely subjective. Although I have been to countless concerts in my short life, ranging in style, venue, and even country, something will always be a guarantee. There will ALWAYS be these staple crowd members at every single show. I don’t care who’s headlining, whether it’s sweet R&B or good ole’ rock n’ roll. They will be there. And they will find you. So be prepared and keep your eyes peeled next time you’re at a gig.
1. The Superfan.
We know them. We hate them. We mock them. We low key want to be them?? This person knows the words to every song, and is probably
singing screaming each line a little too loudly. They’re bouncing around and bobbing and swaying just enough so that every time you cock your head to the opposite side, they block your view immediately. They live and breathe the band, and are one of those people who say things like “I listened to them before they were cool.” Odds are they have probably met the artists, and think they have some sort of social media friendship.
I am fully guilty of being this person.
2. The Significant Other.
Contrastingly, this person most likely doesn’t even want to be at the concert. Their gf/bf is probably a huge fan and wanted to “share this experience” with them. They probably know a couple major hits, and for the most part are having a miserable time. They are exhibiting dutiful gestures like hand holding, waist caressing, and light cheek kisses, but are really just waiting for their grateful thank you after the show.
3. The Solo Dolo.
No one really knows much about this specimen. Although they are easy to find, they are difficult to interact with. It appears that they have no friends at the concert, and are aimlessly floating around. They simply bump into people throughout the crowd, exchange a few words, and just like that they disappear. Chances are they did arrive with some buddies, but in the midst of chaos have lost them/went on an adventure alone. Overall, they are harmless, and embody “here for a good time, not a long time.”
(Sourced from Giphy.com)
4. The Grumps.
You’re not even sure why they’re here. The whole time they have their arms crossed, unimpressed look on their face, and you’re questioning if they’re even breathing. They sit through the whole concert and don’t show an ounce of enjoyment, yet never leave or talk over the band. They’re a complete buzzkill.
5. The Too F*ucked Up One.
Whether they’re drunk, high, or a combination of both – this person is on Jupiter. They are singing the wrong words, falling over, they might not even know where they are. You may have to give them some gentle nudges when they’re falling onto you, but in the end, they are a fan who just got a little to carried away at the pre.
6. The Mom.
She probably seems just a little bit out of place, but is a riot. She’s older than the people she’s with, and is trying her hardest to be cool and hip. She genuinely loves the music, or at least loves the people she’s with and having a good time. She’s dependable and gives off good vibes only.
(Sourced from The Huffington Post)
7. The Fighter.
They are the worst. They’re the type of partier that gets scrappy when they drink and always wants to start fights with complete strangers. You do the slightest thing to get in their way, maybe even look at them funny, and all hell breaks loose. You have to be sure not to provoke them further, and just ignore their goading. This attribute shines brightly in both boys and girls.
8. The Mosh Pitter/Crowd Surfer.
This person always tries to get the party going with some classic concert tricks. Although both of these activities can be fun, and usually result in some great memories, it can be very extraneous for other audience members. I can almost guarantee that the people who got floor seats for a pretty penny, or waited hours at the front of the stage do not want your sweaty body ricocheting off of them or landing on their heads. Alas, they are relentless and will continue to get that mosh pit going – especially on the high energy songs. As for the crowd suffer, after one swift crash to the ground they’ll be hesitant to get back up (trust me, I’ve tried).
(Sourced from WCDB Airwaves)
9. The Smart Phone Addict.
Whether they’re constantly taking pictures, Snapchating, Instagraming, or just literally filming the first six songs of show, they ruin the entire experience for you. Your eyes are constantly drawn to their screen, and you find yourself watching the performance through their phone. Not to mention their arms are flying up in the air right in front of your face. Don’t be this person. Just don’t.
10. The Merch Junky.
This person is already decked out in the band’s merchandise from head to toe. The back of their shirt probably has the band’s 2016 tour dates listed, and they’re walking out of the venue with a new hoodie and a signed record. They probably wear band tees on the reg, but have an eclectic collection of physical memories now.
At the end of the day, we love each and every one of these people along with everyone else who attends, because if it wasn’t for the audience, there wouldn’t be a concert. The collective group of people that are miraculously there all at the same time create a unique at magic every show. That experience will never be repeated again. Besides, they make for some good stories.
Tell me what you think! What kind of playful stereotypes have you run into at concerts?
(Header image sourced from GIGAOM)